Part Sixteen

All She Wants To Do

Karen was up and out of bed long before Nigel even stirred. Despite the fact she'd maybe only logged four hours of sleep, she felt refreshed and at peace with the world. Hell, she felt like a million bucks! She danced about the little cottage and made herself some coffee, got dressed and checked the local weather station before looking in on Nigel. It wasn't out of the norm for him to sleep well past a respectable hour if left to his own devices, and if they were going to do some sightseeing he would need to get out of bed, and soon.

Carefully turning the doorknob, she heard it click, and Karen edged it open just a little, peeking in before deciding to enter. He was still asleep, so she swung the door wide, tiptoeing over to his bed. Nigel lay on his side with his back to her, curled up in a ball with the blankets spun loosely around his legs and waist. She came closer, recalling how she thought she could hear voices in his room last night. It made her smile to think that he talked in his sleep. Poor baby, she thought, and eagerly leaned over his reposed form.

She stood quietly, just watching him breathe, steady and even, no hint of awareness on his part at all. She almost felt like a thief, stealing a tiny part of his life for herself without asking. It was at that moment when Karen's unflagging self-doubt began to raise its ugly head. Her heart felt so very heavy, knowing his reaction to her after they got back in was less than what she had expected. It really had been her own fault, she thought, knowing full well that he still loved Sydney. Who did she think she was anyway, thinking for one second she could erase everything that he had shared with Syd after one stupid roll in the hay? It was just sex. She knew damned well it didn't mean anything to him, she even echoed his sentiments on that. Are you lonely, Nigel? How could she have been so naïve to think his heart could change overnight? Hell, it was probably the only reason he let himself get so carried away in the first place, she was sure!

The humbled secretary looked down at him, and releasing a remorseful sigh, she reached over, unable to resist sweeping his rusty coloured hair from his eyes. Oh God, those eyes… and the long dark lashes that now rested against his tanned cheeks. She could easily see a hint of reddish freckles now splashed across his nose and face after the last two days spent out under the sun. She swallowed hard. He was so beautiful… She couldn't believe the heat rising in her body from just looking at him sleep. His expression was one of total peace and tranquillity… and God help her, Karen loved him. All she ever wanted to do was love Nigel, and have him love her in return.

He groaned in his sleep just a little when she touched him, but not enough to wake up completely. Karen instantly jumped away as he turned over onto his back, revealing the small, precious doll that lay hidden between his chest and the mattress. She knew the significance that it held for him, and her eyes softened the moment she saw it. Karen was nothing more than his regret, and regrets never amounted to anything. No matter how much you wanted them to, or how hard you tried, she knew. Karen wanted to die right then and there, and could feel tears pricking at her eyes, but she covered her mouth and stopped herself before she could make a sound. Turning on her heel, she started to leave when the sound of Nigel's indecipherable mumbling stopped her. What did he say? It sounded like one particular word over and over…

Part Seventeen

Heartstrings (For Lei)

"Sophie no, Sophie!" Nigel cried out, suddenly thrashing about in his bed, and before Karen could stop him, he tumbled right over the side!

"Nigel!" The thud made her cringe and she was by his side in an absolute instant.

He groaned, slowly pushing himself up from the floor. "Oh God… What a nightmare."

""Nigel, are you okay?" She hooked him by the forearm and helped him onto the side of the bed. She knew what he needed. Looking behind them, she reached over and grabbed Sophie. "Here, is this what was on your mind? It's okay, you know, I do understand." Of course she understood, she was the one to whom he poured out his heart after they got back from Turkey. It wasn't like Sydney wanted anything to do with him. She pushed the doll into his hands and nodded her head for reassurance. Karen knew exactly how Nigel felt about that little doll, and the baby he lost.

Nigel went quiet, thoughtfully taking the doll from Karen. "Uh, yeah…" he admitted. His eyelids were heavy with sleep and his movements still sluggish. "Wha-what are you doing in here?" He changed the subject really quickly, a questioning look in his sleepy hazel eyes. Karen almost melted away when he looked at her like that.

"Oh! Well, uh… honest to GOD, I was not sitting in here watching you… I wasn't!" She figured offering up her denial first would deter any accusation that might follow it later. "I just wanted to see if you were up, and… well, you were still asleep, so I was going to go and, and then, then you started yelling and all that stuff."

Nigel yawned. He couldn't help it, and pulled a hand across his face trying to chase away the drowsiness. "All right… thanks… for… for this." He lifted the doll up and aimlessly nodded, then propped the toy on the nightstand. To say he felt awkward was putting it mildly at best. He took a deep breath before continuing. "Listen, Karen… About last night..."

"No… Nigel, you don’t have to say anything, ok? Just don’t." Karen got up off the bed in a panic and walked right for the door. Glancing back at him, she forced a smile, but Nigel could tell that engaging smile was just a lie masking the truth of the matter. "I don’t want to feel any worse than I already do. If you’re the friend you say you are, then… then you'll respect that and just forget about last night."

He'd been so angry at her last night, and in retrospect he knew that had been the wrong way to take it. Looking at her now, it was impossible for him to feel anything but shame at what he'd allowed to happen between them. He was old enough to know when you become intimate with a woman, with any woman, it doesn’t matter how much she says it’s just a good time… They will always end up feeling like there was more to it than just sex. Strings were ALWAYS attached, heartstrings. It had been what he was afraid of from the onset, but he let his own needs foolishly override his good sense.

"Karen, wait…"

"Wait for what, Nigel? I don’t want to hear some speech about how you still want to be my friend or that 'I still respect you' garbage. I know what we did, and it wasn't smart. So can you please just let me work through what I did by myself? Give me that little bit of dignity that I think I still have left? I'm just as responsible as you are.” Her voice started to break up, and it damned near broke his heart. "I know you're still in love with Syd. I always knew that."

"It doesn't mean I had a right to…"

"It doesn't mean I did, either. Listen," she hung her head and stared at the floor, steeling her nerves, "I'm going out today. Why don't you call Sydney? I'll bet she'll be so happy to hear from you."

His heart was in his throat, and Karen's was on her sleeve for all to see…

Part Eighteen

Thorn In My Side #1: Sydney

…thorn in my side, you know that's all you ever were. A bundle of lies, you know that's all that it was worth. I should'a known better, but I trusted you at first. I should'a known better, but I got what I deserved…

Sydney had better days, but she could only blame herself for the monumental headache thumping at her temples. The heartache, however, belonged smack in the lap of one gregarious Nigel Bailey. She sat and calmly sipped at her coffee, her slender fingers wrapped tightly around the ceramic cup, contemplating how she was going to punish that horrible little Englishman! She could tar and feather him, maybe even tie him up and throw knives… At least a dozen gloriously different types of inhumane torture flitted through her busy mind before she was done. Having long protected her heart before he came along, she knew she was taking a hell of a chance giving it away to Nigel! He could be so careless and thoughtless at times. An all around bookish bumble-head! For goodness sakes, he took better care of his oft-lost wristwatch than her heart! All he had done was prove he was just like every other man, and she didn't need the headache, or the disappointment.

Sydney got along just fine before he literally stumbled across her path, and she would do plenty fine after he was gone, of that she was certain. This was what she got for sticking her neck out and loving somebody. Although Syd did admit to having some responsibility in this fiasco, at least she didn't go sleep with the first available warm body that offered itself up! All men were weak like that, she knew it for a fact, and Nigel was certainly no exception.

Across the table from her was his sandy, damp wallet. Something he neglected to make sure he still had before trotting off home with his new girlfriend. Sydney wasn’t going to pick it up at all, but she did anyway. He needed that, and she intended to hand deliver it in person, along with a knuckle sandwich! Then she'd tell them they were fired… okay, HE was fired. It wasn't Karen's fault, she was just being herself. Nigel, on the other hand, knew far better! Ah, Sydney really didn’t know what to do at this point, and fantasised of all the ways she could get him back without getting herself arrested in the process, when someone started to literally hammer on her door…

"Hold your -" Jumping up, Sydney swung the door wide. "- Horses!"

Nigel stood there looking like he'd slept in the clothes he had on. But then, he always had a rather sloppy, unkempt look about him, as a rule. In fact, this was the worst she had ever seen him, noting the disheveled condition of his person and his seemingly agitated state of mind. Raising her eyebrows at him knowingly, a really nasty smirk curled up along the corners of her mouth.

"Sydney, we really need to talk."

"Are you sure you've got time, lover boy?"

A streak of fear coursed through his veins as he recalled the romp with Karen on the beach. Pushing it away, he started again. "Sydney look, about Karen…"

She smiled. Here it comes, Sydney thought. "I don't want to know what you and Karen have planned. In fact, you said it yourself, you two have a lot of touristy-couple-things to do, right? I'm getting a plane back to Boston tomorrow," she stated rather indignantly, then tried to slam the door in his face.

"Oh, no you don't!" he objected, and pushed right past her into the house.

"Nigel, if you don't leave right now, I'll kick your ass all the way to next Tuesday!" she threatened, and stalked after him, right on his heels. Her face was all twisted and angry, and her murderous eyes could have burned a hole through his head.

Nigel did an about-face at the kitchen table and crossed his arms over his chest quite defiantly. He knew very well she could kick his ass, easily. Bracing himself, because right now he had no idea what her state of mind was, he bravely stared right back at her and stood his ground. "Then you'll have to kick my ass. I’m not leaving until we at least talk."